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Hetalia Fanfictions by WalkswithChrist

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Submitted on
October 27, 2012
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68 (who?)
            "Alfred? Are you...sure about this?" Matthew asked timidly, looking at his friend. 

"Course I am! As the hero, we are going to take this class, so you can prepare for asking ____ out!" He replied with a huge grin. 

"Wha-What?! I-I can't go on a date with her! She's my best friend!" Matthew said, shocked out of his mind. He, Matthew Williams, ask ____ on a date? No way. No bueno. That can't possibly happen. Besides, she wouldn't say yes. Matthew and ____ had been friends for as long as he could remember. And Matthew had a very good memory. 

"Which is exactly why you two should go out. Come on! We're going inside." Alfred grabbed Matthew's wrist, and pulled him inside. The green door had a sign in front, "How To Pick Up Girls". 

Alfred and Matthew took a seat in front. The room was rather dull, white walls with a white board. A couple of plastic tables and chairs, with a few guys and a girl with a hat and hood on. "Fine, if I ask ____, you ask Alice out too. Okay?"

"Huh? Alice?" Alfred asked, tilting his head. He nodded with a small smile. 

"That's the deal, America. I ask ____, you ask Alice out, okay?"

Alfred grumbled under his breath and sunk lower into his chair. "Who's teaching this class anyways?" Alfred looked behind his seat and stared at these two guys. Matthew recognized them. They were Ryan and Kevin.

"It's being taught by—" Ryan said, but he was cut off.

"The awesome me of course!~" Gilbert exclaimed, walking through the door, followed with a "Kesesese", a "Fusososo", and an "Ohonhonhon". The Bad Touch Trio.

God damnit.

Then the lesson started. And all of it seemed like crap to Matthew's mind. What was all of this nice guys finish last stuff? The trio explained that girls like Alice and ____ liked "bad boys". Matthew couldn't really help but actually pay attention. ____ didn't like it when the trio flirted with her the other day. 

Was it true?

But Matthew wanted to be with ____. He still felt nervous, but Alfred was right. He did love her. Matthew took careful notes of this.

Nice guys finish last that's,
Why I'll treat you like trash it's
Not what I really want to do. 
But you only date bad guys so,
I'll give it my best try to,
Treat you the way you want me to. 

Today Matthew is  a completely different guy. Not the softie Canadian you used to know. No, now he's that bad-boy every girl is after. He wore his shirt with most of his buttons undone, to expose his chest. Matthew even wore those hipster rectangle glasses, and a fancy necklace. With this attire, ____ couldn't say no. Alfred already asked Alice out with his new clothes, and she said yes. 

It's go time.

"H-Hey ____," He stuttered as he saw his friend.

"Oh! Hey Matt— What's up with your clothes? What are you, some kind of bad-boy hipster now?" You stifled a giggle.

"Y-Yeah, I'm a bad-boy now ____. Wanna go out tonight? You, me, Alfred, and Alice?"

"Sure, sounds fun! I'll see ya later!" ____ grinned. Yes! Matthew finally asked you on a date! Not the way you imagined it would be like, but still. "Alice!" You exclaimed, waving at your British friend.

"Oh! 'Ello, ____!" Alice smiled, turning around.

"Mattie finally asked me out! Did Alfred ask you too? I think we're going doing a double date."

"Y-Yes, he did. Sounds fun, doesn't it? Come on, we're going to be late for our class."

I never open the door, 
Or pull out a chair 
You can tell me how your day was but I don't really care.

You, Alice, Matthew, and Alfred went to some diner that serves breakfast all day. Matthew and Alfred opened the door for themselves, and it nearly slammed in Alice's face. When the waiter sat you all down, they didn't pull out a chair  for you both. 'Wow.' You grumbled.

You ate [favorite food], Alice ate fish and chips, Alfred the typical hamburger, and Matthew ate pancakes. The food was pretty good, you and Alice were talking about your day. Matthew groaned and rolled his eyes.

And if you ever get cold, 
You'll just have to hack it. 
'Cause I'd be cold too if I gave you my jacket!

When you went outside to start walking to the car, there was a freaking breeze! It was really cold. You rubbed your arms with your hands. "Damn! It's freaking freezing out here!" You exclaimed. Matthew didn't even turn around. "Can I borrow your jacket, Mattie? Sorry..."

"Nah, I-I'm gonna be cold if I give it to ya." He turned around and gave a me a...straw? "Here's a straw. Suck it up."

Like woah!
You ain't sittin' up front! 
Front is for the homies, 
You can sit in the trunk

Alfred was driving you all home. You sat in the back, sighing contently. Thank God it was warm in there. Alice was about to sit in front, when Alfred literally denied her.

"Hey! You can't sit here! Matthew's sittin' here. Go sit in the back with ___!" Alfred exclaimed. Alice looked at him, shocked. She rolled her eyes and opened the slid down one seat. Matthew sat in front, as he and Alfred brofisted. 

I never answer my phone, 
Whenever you call it, 
And when the waiter brings the bill I never reach for 
my wallet!

Before you drove off, the waiter comes running outside with the bill. You all get out of the car. The waiter looks at Matthew, but he then points to you. 

"What the hell man?!" You exclaimed angrily. You took Alice's hand, and started walking home. But then the temperature seemed like it dropped. It was freezing!

"Hold on, I'll call Alfred." Alice said, taking out her phone, and she calls him. After a short pause, Alice looked at her phone, and scowled. "He didn't answer."

"Damn bastards!" You exclaimed. Would Matthew and Alfred really do this to you guys? "Fine. I'll a taxi."

"A-Alfred, they seemed angry...are we doing this right?" Matthew looked at Alfred. Alfred merely grinned and nodded. 

"Totes! Francis said that after a date, girls always walk home!"

Nice guys finish last thats, 
Why I'll treat you like trash, 
Its' not what I really want to do. 
But you only date bad guys,
So I'll give it my best try to, 
Treat you the way you want me to.

Matthew didn't think this was right. Alfred didn't even answer his phone when Alice called. "Let's just go home now." On their way home, it was dead silence. Not even the radio was on. He regretted everything he did tonight.

And Imma beat you, 
In every competition! 
Goin' out with the girls?
You better get my permission! 
Wait no, I take that back you can't go. 
House is on tonight and that's my favorite show! 

The next day, you and Alice decided to give Matthew and Alfred another chance to go play video games. It was Super Smash Bros Brawl, one of the games you're pretty good at. It was you and Alice versus Matthew and Alfred.

You were playing as Pokemon Trainer, Matthew as Ice Climbers. Alice played as Pit, and Alfred played as Captain Falcon. With an epic "Falcon Punch", Alfred knocked you out of the stage.

"FAHK!" You exclaimed, throwing the controller down. Following, Matthew smashed Alice out too.

"Haha! We won!" Alfred high-fived Matthew and boasted loudly. 

"Yeah, nice job." You sighed, putting the remote down.

"Okay, ____ and I are going home now. We'll see you Monday." Alice said, getting up. 

"Uh, I-I didn't give you permission to leave." Matthew said.

"What? Why do we need permission?" You cross your arms over your chest.

"Just cause!" Alfred said. "And you guys can't go yet! Season four of How I Met Your Mother starts tonight!"

"What? Why would we watch that bloody show with you two?!"

"Cause! I wanna compare it to House. You know that's my favorite show!" Alfred pouted.

"Do I look fat in this dress?" 
Hell yeah you do!
Wait let me speak your language,
Cows go mo! 

Third date. 'Because three times is a charm.' You would grumble to yourself for silent motivation to give Matthew one more chance. Maybe he would change into that sweet, shy boy you used to know tonight. Maybe he knew your anger about this whole thing. He's not that dense.

But you wanted to test him. 

So you found your [color] dress that you wore for graduation in eighth grade and decided to wear it tonight. You looked at yourself in the mirror one last time. "Ugh, I can't wait to take this off." 

Matthew arrived fifteen minutes later at you door and you let him inside. He laid down on your couch. Then you decided to ask the most cliché question ever. "Do I look fat in this dress?" You asked him, turning around.

"Hell yeah you do! You're like a cow! Wait let me speak your language!" And he started mooing obnoxiously.

"Alright that's it. Get out." You angrily, clenching your hands.

"What? But we haven't even left yet, ____!"

"I don't care. That's it Matthew. Either you stop being an asshat, or get. Out."

"Whatever! I-I don't n-need you!" Matthew threw his arms up, got up, and left.

He closed the door, but he didn't slam it. It barely closed. You smiled. 'I knew it.'

Nice guys finish last that's
Why I'll treat you like trash it's,
Not what I really want to do. 
But you only date bad guys so,
I'll give it my best try to, 
Treat you the way you want me to! 

Matthew ran outside. "M-Maple hockey." He said, wiping his eyes. He wasn't crying. He wasn't crying...

He was crying. "I messed up. I messed up bad. I-I-I wish I didn't listen to them..."

Then Matthew realized something. 'Our final class is tonight. I'm gonna give them a piece of my mind!' Matthew first stopped at Alfred's house.

"D-D-Dude! Alice...Alice and I..." He half-sobbed. No tears were coming out though. 

"I know! Come on, we're going back to that class." Matthew said. Alfred looked at him, then nodded.

Alfred kicked the green door down. The trio jumped in surprise. "H-Hey! Not awesome Alfred!" Gilbert exclaimed.

"What the hell was that for?" France said.

"You bastards are phonies! I lost ____ thanks to you three. Tell me a good reason why I shouldn't beat you with my hockey stick!" Matthew barked, slamming Gilbert to the wall.

Gilbert looked at him and sweat dropped. "Matthew, let's go. They won't help us anymore." Alfred said, quickly knocking out Gilbert. Toni and Francis were passed out on the floor.

"Bro, what was that? I've never seen you like that, you're like 2P!Canada right there or something..." Alfred said.

Matthew sighed. "I-I just got angry. I'm gonna go, I have some unfinished business to take care of. You do too."

"I'm sorry Mattie. I thought they would actually help us. I-I'll see you later."

Matthew nodded, and the two went separate ways.

But behind the scenes, 
She means the world to me! 
I wanna tell her thats she's beautiful, 
And show her that she's loved! 
Hold her hand when she's scared, 
Tell her how much I care, 
But that won't win her heart because

If he was lucky enough, ____ would take him back. Matthew had a bouquet of [favorite flowers], ____’s favorite. He would tell her how he really felt. He shyly knocked on her door.

"Hm? Oh. Hey, Matthew, what do you need?" You asked, peeking from the door.

"_-____...come outside. I need to tell you something. I-It's important!" Matthew felt his face flush.

You saw how cute his face looked, and tried to hold in a smile. "Sure." Matthew took your hand and led you outside to your front yard.

"I'm sorry...for everything. I really mean it, ____. It was the Bad Touch Trio. They said girls didn't like 'nice guys', so Alfred and I tried to change ourselves. You're beautiful, and you mean the world to me. During those dates, I wanted to show you that I loved you. I want to hold your hand when you're scared during those scary movies. But I believed that I wouldn't win you over if I was like that—"

____ cut him off, by leaning forward and kissing him. The two melted into it. "I love you Mattie. Don't change."

Nice guys finish last thats, 
Why I'll treat you like trash it's, 
Not what I really want to do!
You only date bad guys so,
I'll give it my best try to, 
Treat you the way you want me to!
Pfft, what am I doing? Writing fluff? Not even close.

Nice Guys (c) Chester See, NigaHiga (Ryan Higa), and KevJumba (Kevin Wu)
Hetalia (c) Hidekaz Himaruya
How I Met Your Mother (c) Carter Bays and Craig Thomas
Super Smash Bros Brawl and it's characters (c) Nintendo
You (c) You. Duh.
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sarahsmiles16 Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2014  Student Writer
JustSomeRandomKidLol Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
... Damn it. That song is stuck in my head again. XD And yeah! SSBB! Funny thing was, when I played with my male friends, I easily knocked them out. They forced me to choose a character I sucked at to give them a chance to win. :iconloolfaceplz:
KatrisXD Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2013  Student Artist
JustSomeRandomKidLol Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks. This is probably the only CanadaXReader that I've read that has someone with a similar personality/interests to me. :D
kimonogirl888 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2013  Student General Artist
I had completely missed the nice guys lyrics until like halfway through, at which point I fangirled SO HARD my mother walked by and asked me if I was alright.
KatrisXD Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2013  Student Artist
Haha! I guess it would be hard to miss, the song is a couple years old. Have you seen the Kendana toy? It's hilarious!
urgirl4ever Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2013  Student General Artist
Haha I totally freaked when I saw that one!! I actually have a kendama so I was like "omygosh no way! I love that thing!!!"
kimonogirl888 Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013  Student General Artist
I just saw that again! I love all of Ryan's "advertising" videos!
KewlKatCutie Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
KatrisXD Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Student Artist
:iconsexycanada2plz: He is...isn't he?
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